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Nov. 21, 2014

Homer Alone

Homer no function beer well without. Ahoy hoy? Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!

Homer: Bad Man

Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! Me fail English? That's unpossible. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? I didn't get rich by signing checks.

  • Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
  • Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Marge vs. Monorail

Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!

  1. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
  2. Me fail English? That's unpossible.
  3. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!
The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

 

 

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns."

Selma's Choice

Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! D'oh. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. Me fail English? That's unpossible. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!" I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom. This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."

I didn't get rich by signing checks. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies. Me fail English? That's unpossible.

That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

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